Sunday Service - Not Same, Same?

Sunday morning here in Thailand, and we go to the local Temple to give alms and pray to Lord Buddha.

'Same, same, you country?' I remember being asked on the first of our ritual visits.

'Yah! Sunday morning, same, same,' I replied in a that Germanic toned Thai-English accent, which underscores our personal language/culture barrier.

Looking at the photo and recalling this morning's visit begs a thought? "Is this Sunday service ritual same, same everywhere?"

Of coarse a first glance reaction is, "Looks nothing like any Christian Church service I remember."



Every Sunday morning my girlfriend and I make the trip to a local Buddhist Temple and I sit watching Thai people, and a handful of farang's (foreigners) give alms and donations for the poor. I watch people be blessed by a monk and pray to Lord Buddha for luck in the eternal fight against karmic forces. Less formal than a Christian Sunday service, people wonder in and out of the main Temple building, taking whatever time they wish to perform any number of traditional rituals.

St George & The Dragon - Spiritual or Psychotic Experience?

I was nervous of coarse as I waited for my turn, the young singer song writer was in session at the moment. We’d talked about being courteous and cooperative in front of the Judge, about playing the norm’s game.
‘Yeah but that lawyer of mine is a bitch man! - She’s in on it with my parents and that fucking witch doctor psychiatrist.’

Like many creative people he could throw a temper tantrum like a hurt two year old, when challenged by the emotional dynamics of relating. Left alone to his own unfathomable process though he could join words together like a magician, a real witch doctor. Another beguiling poem or a beautiful love song.

‘People don’t understand man! - They just want us to be normal, square fucking pegs in square fucking holes.’ Jason had complained loud and often over the last two days.

bipolar disorder suicide ideation

I'd been thinking about using a rope, when the aftermath scene of who would find my body came to mind.
"Would it be the Princess or the cleaning lady?"
"I can't do it here!" I told myself. Then I started thinking about doing it somewhere I couldn't be identified, no documents found with the body. I thought about taking a trip up country, to the other end of Thailand, thinking if I found a rural area with limited police resources, maybe they'd just cremate the body and forget about it?


"Be better for the Princess and my boys back in Australia," I thought, "I'd just be missing."

BIPOLAR- Swings & Roundabouts?

Whereabouts am I today? - Is the answer in my posture?

The swings & roundabouts of life have particular significance for us bipolar's. The merry go round of mood swings making hopeful progress difficult to gauge on any particular day. HOPE seems to be an ingredient of wellness, as vital as oxygen, water & food? Hope for a future free from torturous mood swings being a particular concern for us swingers. Whereabouts am I today? Is an all to frequent question of self doubt, when our judgement has a history of being affected by body state moods?

How I do Dissociation?

Prince Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha) - Prince of Self Awareness

How I do Dissociation? Its a bold title I know, with an implicit promise that I can tell you exactly how I do dissociation.

Of coarse I can only say how I think I do dissociation and try to articulate the reality of my self awareness.

Yesterday I posted a article entitled "How do YOU do Dissociation?" I started with a statement about an emotionally painful incident and how I been unable to recall it without a sense of numbness so typical of dissociation.

The very next line "What exactly is Dissociation," is typical of how I do dissociation by using intellectualism - the distancing from core emotions with emotionless thoughts and words.



The picture above is my favorite Buddha pose, the closed eyes and tension free facial expression resonate deeply with me. To me it's an expression that represents the epitome of calm self awareness, of being completely comfortable inside your own skin. Once a week I accompany my girlfriend to the local Buddhist Temple and watch her perform rituals of selfless giving and prayer. Often I sit gazing at the giant gold Buddha statue and imagine him sat at the entrance to that ancient Greek dudes cave.
The Oracle's cave with its timeless advice engraved above, "Know Thy Self"

How do YOU do Dissociation?

Wow! Where did I just go?

Its been almost ten months since a particularly brutal experience of rejection with my oldest son. I remember walking around for hours draining the energies of anger and rage the encounter stimulated. I did my best to avoid amplifying those negative emotions by not replaying the episode in my mind. A few months later though when I tried to recall details and write about the family dynamics involved, a foggy sensation filled my mind as numbness overcame my senses. Only in the last week have I been able to face the memories with any clarity of mind and emotional recollection of that day.


What exactly is Dissociation?

BIPOLAR - The Recovery Road

Reaching for a Rainbow?

"The more conscious you become, the more aware you become of how unconscious you've been." _Patricia Sun.
Recovery seems to be a process made conscious through hindsight, even though our pressing desire is for something to happen right now! Becoming conscious and content with the process of improving self awareness has been a lesson hard learned and automatically forgotten in recent days.
The stress of moving house and high fatigue, saw me drop back into an old unconscious pattern. For over a week now I have been stuck in the bipolar trap? A dissociated mind held hostage by my nervous system? My old all or nothing bipolar response to challenge triggered an unconscious stress reaction.


My mind is not as conscious as it thinks it is?

cure bipolar disorder

I Can't Cure Bipolar Disorder?

Cure Bipolar Disorder? Should I dare to consider myself recovered from a lifelong mental illness? Or am I just in remission? Cure bipolar disorder internet searches suggest bipolar is generally considered as having an illness of the brain like diabetes or even cancer. Considered from a medical disease model the word recovered converges with the word cure and the medical model suggests we cannot cure bipolar disorder.
Wikipedia tells us: "It has been noted that the bipolar disorder diagnosis is officially characterised in historical terms such that, technically, anyone with a history of (hypo)mania and depression has bipolar disorder whatever their current or future functioning and vulnerability."

Bipolar Recovery

Bipolar Recovery - Beyond Manic Depressive Cycles
Beyond manic flights of mind and depressive crashes within the body?
Here is a method based on gaining critical insight into the unconscious activity of your autonomic nervous system.
Activity that stimulates the sensations, behaviors and mental anguish of your bipolar condition. Knowing the essential role your auto nervous system plays in every second of your experience, will give you real feelings of self control.

Critical insight will help you to feel your way into better balance of mind and body. Sensing feedback within your auto nervous system, will bring you real control over your emotional energies.
Not control by will of mind, but control through knowing you can let go of internal tensions which stimulate your bipolar condition.

This method is based on three keys elements.

1. Critical Insights.

2. Felt Awareness Practice.

3. New Mind-Body Experience.

Beyond Our Crisis Periods - We Can Learn to Manage Ourselves Well!